Indecisive

It was a lovely holiday with the sisters, and relatives, and dad.

I no longer say parents. I say dad.

And I miss my mom.

And I sit here, after a long day thinking,
"Wow! I took so much for granted. Everything mom did. Everything mom was."

And I'm not too tired now, but in a few minutes I'm sure it will hit me.

But for now I ponder whether it was a good idea to post.

I mean after all, its my blog I can write whatever I'd like to write. And it's meant to keep people updated on how things are going.

But is this something people need to be updated on?!

And I click on the, "Publish Post" button, because I'm tired of caring whether its "okay" or not.

And reality shoots with great precision. Straight to the heart. After the masses have left, and the house is silent. I find I hate (I know its a strong word) that she's gone. Although it is much, much better that she be out of pain and in heaven having a blast, and I am happy for that. I am deeply saddened at the loss. And deeply hurt at how unfair reality is. And deeply lost at who I'm supposed to call after work to ask, "do you need anything?"

And so today, I miss her, and I hate this.

um. wow.

One day at a time. One hour at a time. One moment at a time. One breath at a time.

It will not be easy.
But God never said it would be.
It will always seem unfair.
But God never said it would be.
It may be incredibly sad.
But God never leaves my side.
It may seem hopeless.
But God brings his gentle peace.

There will be a number of new things I need to learn. It will be hard at first because I will remember that "mom always took care of that". But after a while, it may become rather humorous.

Lesson One:
The mesh filter on the water pipe from the washing machine needs to be changed. Otherwise the water will overflow.

gotcha!

Normal

Hey there friends.

It's been about a month since I last updated, and I have heard the question, "when are you going to post again?" a number of times already.

Well...I don't have kids. So, unlike my sisters there isn't anything to post about there. I don't need to tell you about work. I don't do much stuff around home. I read. I play piano. I sleep. I eat. Not really too many things to inform you all about from my end of the spectrum.

We had our first snowfall, (that actually stuck around) on December 1st. What perfect timing?! Dad, one of my aunts, Joe and I decorated the Christmas tree to kick the month off right too. And the snow's continued and all the lights on the tree still work. So... it seems like a pretty typical December.

When I've got something exciting... I guess I'll let ya know.