poop

i don't think i'm that difficult to understand...but then again i've always been told i'm weird...so maybe it is difficult for other people to understand how i feel or how i see things...at least i see a reality...

love?

hey hey hey...what a day! haha! well...i nannyied and spent some good qualitiy time with none other than...Maija! woot woot! lets see here...we went and saw "sisterhood of the traveling pants" that was pretty decent!

what else happened today...not really much of anything...however...i'm gonna try something philisophical...just for you jon! lol ...ya know what a good idea might be? post a philisophical question and i'll try to answer it! i like that idea...how about you?! anyways...here's my philisophical thinking for tonight...

why do we love? why do we long to be loved, when we know it could also bring pain, and hurt? do i love my parents just because they brought me to this earth or do i love them becuase its a commandment?or do i love them becuase...i downright can't not love them? do i love my friends because God tells me to love my neighbors as myself? or is it becuase i want to love them. my all time favorite quote says "you never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back" -Barbara DeAngelis i think thats so incredibly true...but that still doesn't answer why we love. I think we love becuase we long to be loved in return. i think we are willing to risk anything to know that we are chased after and longed for. why do i love when i know...pain comes with it most of the time. I have been hurt over and over, and thats where i believe in Barbara's words. if i wouldn't have loved to be hurt, and learn...i never would have learned or gained anything at all.

so...what is love? my analogy: love is swinging on a swingset. a person can start swinging by pumping their legs very slowly. And eventually they begin to rock back and forth, slowly and eventually and gradually picking up speed. the wind is brushing against their face and the rest of the world goes spinning past them. they have the option to let go of the rope, but a person must be careful, becuase if they begin to lean one way or the other they risk falling off and breaking something, and if they hold on to the rope forever, there isn't a risk at all, and the intensity of the swinging is reduced. if they put their feet down...they stop swinging. love starts out slowly, and takes a lot of work to get started, and eventually and gradually it picks up speed. every trial seems to be simpliar and nothing else seems to matter. if you fall in love, you let go of the rope and risk falling, if you hold on to the rope, you're holding yourself back from loving, and if you put your feet down, the love stops.
where am i? i'm swinging mighty fast, with one hand off the rope, and waiting to take the other off...trying to stablize myself for the next year of life.

where are you? (this is your oppurtunity to leave me a comment!)

blah blah blah

well...its hard to believe its already past 12:00pm...by like 10 minutes...yep...still nannying.

i made phone calls today...to Mr. Dunavan, and Paster Berner, and i talked to Ms. Tshida for a while....that was cool...haha...guess what the year is beginning and i can feel the stress level slowly rising back up to its normal zone...i've been abnormally unstressed this summer...not a bad thing...a lil scary...cause that means this year is gonna hit me hard...oh well...God will not give me more than i can handle! He told me so!

Jon, i'm trying to think of something philisophical and i can't.

what i do like to think about though is kids and their childlike faith. They have no big worries...at least that i can tell...it's a tiny bit entertaining, but its also inspiring. one of the kids i nanny for asked me last week what God having power meant. wow...i explained, that God is a king, and he's a king of everything, and kings have power right? and he said yes, and i was like so God has power over his kingdom. it was really cute. childlike faith....its extremly hard to have as you get older...i wish i still had an imaginantion! thats a whole otehr story...its hard for me to play with the kids because my imaginantion is older...i no longer imagine my dolls talking and its hard to play house and make legos and have a story because...as a kid you make stories that don't make sense....and thats ok...but as i've grown up things need to make sense to me. my imaginantion only works when i'm imagining graduation, or the day i leave for college, or when i become a youth paster, not look at my cool new lego space machine that can fly through jello! its tough!

anyways thats as much thinking as i can give you Jon...and anyone else who just read this!

i had a hard time falling asleep last night...i was busy thinking about everything i had/have to do today...thats how i can tell the year is coming! woot!

ya know...i finished all my peer support work stuff for this weekend and it only took like an hour, and i'm actually really excited! not just for being a leader, but to spend time with people i usually don't spend time with...and ok...everyone is gonna laugh...but i actually somewhat miss chilmans sense of humor! ok...heres some space for laughing are you done now....good. i'm only being honest and if laughing is what i get for being honest then thats what i get. someday i might get a badge or something cool like that!

well...i guess thats all that i feel like writing...for now...maybe ...just maybe i'll write some more later! maybe not...cause i'm working...and thats not too exciting to write about and then i gotta clean my room, and go to the grocery store and pack! yuckers! thats all i can say! yuckers!

later ya'll

workaholic 101

What it comes down to is that i have been working like none other! so far...its only Wednesday and i have worked about 25 hours nannying and tonight will be 8 hours at caribou! woot woot! its a lot of work...but i think its worth it....theres a lot of money being donated to the "help adrianne go to college and survive" fund! haha!

well...lifes normalish...sometimes i am really excited to see changes happen...there are alot of changes happening in my friend group and in all honesty i could care less to a certian extent. if people want to act one way...sweet...i'm gonna keep on truckin and being myself...

well have a great day!

ramblings

Happy week number 9 of the summer!

ya know what i realized the other night. I have other Christian co-workers and that makes me feel not so much like an alien! it used to be scary and sometimes it still is, but it's a comforting thought to have Christian co-workers.

i don't know what to say anymore....i honestly don't. sometimes i get on here and expect to write something...but this time i don't know what to say. I have nothing important on my mind.

I feel really selfish. I have been so busy worrying about me and my group of friends and this and that...that i haven't taken the time to stop and realize that there are way more bigger things out there happening right now. like the terrorist attacks on London....i haven't paid any attention to that, have the caught whoever did it? are they still searching....whats going on in the rest of the world? I haven't watched the news or read the newspaper in a LONG time, and so i have no idea what is happening in the world. I have been so wrapped up in what i want, and what i don't like and what i do like and what i think needs to happen in my life, i've forgotten about everybody else. I'm here to serve God, and if i'm busy worrying about my own life, i'm not serving him very well. so....sorry for being selfish...

Finally a good night!

hey there everyone...like the three people that read this!

okay...lets start with today was an insanely busy busy day! i nannied, made pancakes...went and worked at VBS....which has its benifits...anyways...went back and nannied some more...brought some of the junk stevo left at my house...to his house...cause quite frankly i have no use for it at all...then i went ot Caribou to work...work a lot...it was fun...learned some more...that was fun! tomorrow...i nanny...got to VBS....yay for music...and stuff! then i've gotta go home...let my dog outside to go potty...so he doesn't in the hosue...cause my rents leave at 4:30am! woot for being alone again...not that that matters cause i'll be working all the time...anyways...then i go back to the nanny job...then i return home to clean/rearrange/eat/maybe chill with valaroni!

Anyways...Wade and i are...well normal agian...i discovered i love piano a lot more than i thought i did! tonight is a good night...a night i will probably fall asleep to Reliant K playing softly in my ears!

Later ya'll