Just some poetry...

--Bored in Dialogue--

Watching the secondhand move
But time stands still
Impatiently waiting until
I can take the next mind numbing pill.

Erase the memories
Replace the pain
Rewind until the past meets the future
And watch your whole world change

Will it change for the better?
Will it change for the worse?
If only time moved faster
Waiting wouldn't be such a curse

Stuck in this moment
Trying to rewind
Or possibly move forward
and leave it all behind.

--Bored in Intro to Youth Ministry--

I can recite the words they fed me
As if they came right from the can
The lessons that they thought I learned
Every Sunday at 9 am
Words can only go so deep
CAn only seem so real
Everyone thought my heart was in it
But the truth is in how i feel
I wonder what I truly believe in
I look back to see where i wen twrong
What if the reality delivers
False words I didn't mean to say for so long?
If only i could find some silence
To breath and take some space
to look at who i have been
and find the strength to finish the race
to search out what is real again
to live a selfless life
to lose myself completly to
the truth and what i know is right.

-- Just a mixture of thoughts coming together to form poetry. Perhaps these are things i've been dealing with for quite some time, perhaps someone just made a comment and it triggered these thoughts. I remember where i wrote them, but i don't know why i wrote them.--

--Maybe i should be:
--a bartender
--a hairstylest
--a writer
--a muscian
--a business owner
--a camp director/councilor
--a missionary
--a mother and wife??
I really don't know...there are so many options...so many things i could do, that i want to do. I just need some time to think things over. to find out who i am and what my true calling in life is. Time will tell.

Big Brown Eyes

Derek took this picture of me at Caribou tonight, and I zoomed it in to my eyes. I just thought it looked cool.

I don't care what you call me -- David Ford

I never made time
You never made much sense
We never stood a chance
If we're honest

You were not the first
And I won't be the last
But if it makes it better
Well you can call me what you will

Get home late
No-one's here
Pace around the house
And sit in my chair
And if you think of me
It doesn't mean a thing
So why don't you just tell me what you really think again?
I don't care what you call me
Oh, I, I don't care what you call me.
No, I, I don't care what you call me,
'Cause it won't hurt any more.

I know I let you down
And Christ, you let me know
Every time, and time again
Just another afternoon
Get drunk and disappear
So call me what you will.

Rain it on down,
What else can you throw at me
I haven't heard before?
And tear me on down,
Well I am unforgivable,
So why don't you just tell me what you really think again?

I don't care what you call me, oh I,
I don't care what you call me, oh I,
I don't care what you call me,
Cause it won't hurt any more

Rain it on down,
What else can you throw at me?
I haven't heard before?
And tear me on down,
I am unforgivable
Why don't you just tell me what you really think of me?
Scream me on down
I am so forgettable
Well, yes I know

Well shoot me on down
Don't you think this isn't killing me?
It's no more than I deserve
So I don't care what you call me
Oh I, I don't care what you call me,
Oh I...
I don't care what you call me.
Cause it won't hurt any more.