pondering puzzle

whoops...here i am again
staring off in space
thinking about meaningless things
wondering about realities i haven't yet discovered
contemplating how life might be
had i made a different choice
had i made all the right choices
because Lord knows i messed up from time to time
where would i be?
who would i be?
what would i wear?
how would i style my hair?
these are the ponderings of my mind
these are the thoughts that captivate
the empty space between errands
between shifts at work
between "naps" because we all know
i never sleep long enough
to call it a "good nights sleep"
which makes me even more jumpy
and more caught off guard than i previously was
because i was already daydreaming
i was already in "lala land"
as i've grown up calling it
so i open my eyes wider

because they were already open
just looking off into the distance
towards the horizon that i never reach
and look at you
and you begin to wonder
what i might be thinking about
and if you are someone
i might possibly really care about
perhaps you're wondering
if i was sitting and pondering
what it might be like
had i made the right decision
once upon a time
and if maybe i might
possibly be thinking about you
at the very moment you catch
me staring off into space
and beginning to smile
because you know the smile
and you saw it once before
before i made the decision
that seemed to throw
everything off its track
and start this pondering puzzle
perhaps if we both sit
and ponder long enough
our minds will bump into each other
in their wandering thoughts
and we'll have what we both want.